Dedicated to my saviour,  Jesus Christ;  for opening my eyes

What about me?
How would people see me; what would they say about me?
How do they see me; what do they say about me?
What do I get from it; when will I have my turn?
When will I be known, be famous, be seen?

What about me?
How do I look; how do I benefit?
Why am I not the favourite; why am I not the choice?
I! Me! Myself! Self-ies; ish!
Me! Me!! Me!!!

Why not him, why not her?
Why not another?
What about others?
Where are the we’s and and us’?

The real question: why it is not me.
Greater than I could ever imagine and know.
Stooped from a throne august so low
And a crown that held much glory
To make for me a way of entry
Even after I had so actively shunned and scorned Him

A creation made after His image,
A status much undeserved yet so freely bestowed.
Tramped with force on the very creator.
Fell so hard in shame; become a debtor;
redeemed through grace with much love.
Claimed.

Placed on a pedestrian;
To proclaim the attributes of the claimer;
To reflect the light and glory of a redeemer.
Yet again, actively looking to self;
To the shame, the mayhem and clutter,
To the nothing, the emptiness and the futility of me.

Forgetting the real purpose, the real hope,
The real message and gospel that shines.
Highlighting self and living for same.
Every other person and thing forgotten and buried
Craving more and more, just for me
Then the lightning bolt strikes.

It’s not about me at all.
It’s all about Him
About one whose majesty transcends imagination.
Whose wonder deserves proclamation
About one whose understanding is infinite and unfathomable
One who is terrible in His works and mighty in power With beauty so far beyond comprehension and description

He who so wondrously and fearfully formed ME
HE whose counsel always stands; whose ways are tried and perfect
HE who created the rain I so marvel at
HE who laid the foundations of the earth that I stand on
HE who holds the very seasons and time that binds ME
HE who so freely laid down his life that I may have one

So yes it’s never my song, never my story
Never my talent, never my life
Never me
Always, always, always HIM!

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FITTING RIGHT

 

He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Watching Jordan, my younger brother, trying to put together a puzzle brings fond memories of my own childhood streaming back. I have been watching him for a little while now and I know exactly when he started feeling a bit frustrated; everything isn’t fitting exactly where he thought it should and I totally sympathized with him because I remember feeling exactly the same way, even a little irate, back then especially when I wanted to move on from putting together a puzzle to something else and parallel felt obliged to close the puzzle case before anything else. I’m supposing he is getting to the point where he will attempt fitting any piece anywhere just to get the feeling of completion so he can just move on to something else [ at least that’s what I did sometime].

The scene seem to tally with a fascinating truth I learnt about the great temple king Solomon built in Jerusalem. Until quite recently I had always assumed the magnificent temple had been built like all the other building I see. I couldn’t be more wrong. I learnt the temple was simply assembled. Every material was made and worked on so that during the actual process of building, there was no need for cutting, sawing, chiseling etc, it was about fitting the cut out pieces in their respective positions. The materials were all already designed and custom made to fit a particular place. So that if something didn’t fit somewhere it wasn’t forced or patched in; it didn’t make useless the piece, it simply meant that wasn’t where it was designed to be.

How alike to this process of assembling we are. We are also custom made to fit a particular place/position/spot. We however, miss this truth often probably because we get frustrated with things we so badly want to happen for personal reasons [like Jordan] or some other reason and make do with being patched up elsewhere just to make it happen. This brings to mind the saying square peg in round hole. This doesn’t make useless the need to adapt but focuses us on the need to find where we are designed and purposed to be. A wise man once told me, ‘acknowledging our place and importance would make us more appreciative of other people’s place.’ Then there would be no need to be envious/jealous of others…. because we know we are just right for our purpose. We stand strong together when we stand in our appropriate places.

 

“But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth” – The Bible

 

Twenty- five

“I want to be a doctor; a lawyer; a poet; a chartered accountant; the governor of BOG. I want to be a Chartered Management Accountant & psychotherapist; a teacher/lecturer…”  I said all those at some point in my life growing up.

25 finds me, a professional teacher, a blogger and a drummer [working on adding to the list]. My views and perception of life has evolved and is more real and practical and I’m still expecting some changes. I have grown; matured…….I’m growing, maturing every day. I look back on the years, some of the times all I see is a blur. I remember preschool, primary school, high school, college. I have made friends and lost friends. I have learnt a lot; made mistakes and looking forward to learn more. The memories, priced souvenirs.

Sitting down and taking stock, it seem I have achieved little; so much left undone. Then I’m reminded how the years behind have not been a waste. I remember my friends and family counting me as a blessing, I smile and know I have touched the world in some way, even though perhaps very minutely.

25 years, with the first real birthday cake and presents and a lot grateful. No frowns and grumblings. Only wide smiles and laughter. I have survived much and I’m blessed with more. I have a testimony and there is still yet a lot of goodness ahead of me.

In the distance ahead I see much awesomeness[a borrowed word], I also see hurdles and blockades but I know the ambiance is coloured with so much love, peace and joy so I’m holding on to faith. With squared shoulders I embrace my lot and take a course in patience and self-discipline.

Now the dream is a lot different. Now, I want to be the best of what I am and can be. I want to be someone through whom the glory of God can be shared…..someone who touches the world in the unique way only I can.. someone who will walk in purpose and in the fear of God.