LOVE

LOVE

The topic of love is arguably, the most controversial, most sellable, inexhaustibly depleted but yet still, remains an intriguing and mysterious topic to humanity. I personally think it tops the most misconstrued concepts of all time, vis-a-vis, recent times when cinematics seem to have made it one of its major themes. In some cases making a sitcom out of the greatest thing that ever happened to man.

So it’s no surprise when I chance upon a group of friends talking about it. I won’t deny that it’s a very interesting and alluring topic for me – I’m really into social, counselling, ‘principlely’ kinds of stuff.

Just about the time when I had decided to add my two cents on the topic right here on my blog, a friend of mine popped the love question to me at lunch one fine day. “So Buerkwor, just what do you think love is?’’ At that instance a whole lot of things jumped into mind and my mouth was itching to say much more, because (you see) I had been considering the topic for a long while and also because usually I never pass the opportunity to talk and learn about these stuff, especially when I have an honest audience and/ or teacher. I took a moment to calm my racing mind in an attempt to compose my answer. Then blah blah blah, I poured it out there.

That is exactly what I am about to do here. I must warn you though, my friend looked particularly unimpressed (I thought) with the factual definition and views to love I illuminated. I cannot guarantee you would either but I’m sure you will pick a thing or two. I must however confess that, ever since that time my understanding of love has shifted a bit, grown a lot deeper and it will most definitely improve in future.

Anyhow, this is how and what I believe love is…

 

stay tuned

 

 

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We Sure Had Us Fooled II

Here are a few lessons I picked up from the “growing up experience”. I hope they prove helpful to you.

# Growing up is a given, don’t rush it, you will get there.

As certain as the days go by and the seasons change, we age. There is no need to rush the process at all, we literally can’t. So chill, be a child and let nature take its course. Just be sure to learn your lessons along the way so that with your aging will come maturity.

#Enjoy the journey, it’s as important as the destination.

Quite frankly, we most often get caught up in the trap of waiting to achieve some dream or goal before feeling fulfilled. Not to put down the importance of setting a goal,but, what if you do not reach it? If you do, then what? There will always be yet another goal; another milestone; a more desirable future… if we keep postponing our happiness until the achievement of a dream, it will become a mirage- much like the picture above, something far off in the future but never attained. Slow down, enjoy the moment because it’s the subset of your destination.

# Don’t be lost in your dream, live the present as well.

I realise that after growing up I miss all the times in my childhood. They seem much more precious now and I wish I could go back with the perspective I have today and redo those moments. It’s impossible now of course. I  got the few moments of ecstasy when I moved from one stage to another, but they wore off pretty quickly because there was something else to reach. I have learnt my lesson, I will work hard, laugh more, cry hard, play hard, love immensely and simple live in today so that when I look back a year from now, I can say, I lived it not I survived it.

# Your past is not the best, better days are ahead.

Well, despite all the ‘regrets’ of not taking full advantage of childhood days; despite all the sayings of adults that ‘you don’t know how good you have it’ to children, the best days are yet to come. The past is gone, irretrievable, and the present is here with so many opportunities, the future with unimaginable potential. So if your past was all of your best days, you are in such a sad state. Actively subscribe to forgetting about the past (learn from it, for we must, so we can grow) and live today pressing on towards the future- it’s bright. Where there is life, there is hope.

# Be sure of your dreams, make sure they are real not fantasies.

From the previous story, you would notice, all (the growing up experience) looked rosy from my point of view and I convinced myself it was so. Much like the saying, the grass is greener at the other side. Most of the time, we jump to conclusions and blindly throw ourselves into pursuing ‘dreams’ that are not even real. Take a moment today to be sure of your dreams. Ask around, get more information and strategically pursue a very ‘real dream’. Save yourself the needless hustle of chasing the wind.

# Take responsibility.

The usual thing I hear people say is ‘they sure had us fooled.’ Much like everyone else I used to think so until I critically thought about it. Nobody told me growing up was easy, my elder siblings didn’t mention it was a tea party. Nope! In fact, they categorically told me, “you have got it easy.” It just looked so easy and much better from my point view that i paid no attention to their words. So who had who fooled? I had me fooled. It is high time we quit the blame game and muster up courage to accept our own faults. Everything else is someone else’s fault? At what point do we take responsibility for our lives, thoughts and actions? I believe taking responsibility is a very significant step to repair and progress.

 

What are  some of the lessons you picked up?  kindly share them with me.

Until the next post, live in today and have great hopes for tomorrow!

We Sure Had Us Fooled. I

         They sure had us fooled… I know this because when I was a little girl, all I really wanted to do was grow up. When I was in primary, I so badly wanted to be in the Junior High School and then when I got there, it seemed being in the Senior High School (SHS) was way cooler. In SHS, I couldn’t wait to get to the university so I would get to be picky about the classes I wanted to attend, wear whatever clothes I wanted and simply be a big girl, period.  I saw my elder siblings and their friends and thought they were really cool.

I didn’t know that not stressing about what sort of shoe or dress I had to wear to school was bliss. I didn’t realize running around the house partially naked, having someone else worry about what I would eat or have mummy give me a bath was pure heaven. I simply wanted the autonomy my elder siblings had. I didn’t want to be the youngest one who had to run all the errands or be told what to do.

The funny part of this story is that every time I got to the stage I had dreamed about, I couldn’t wait to get to the next stage because it seemed more promising and fun. This was the case even when I was in the university (the place of adulthood). I couldn’t wait for graduation so I could get a job, earn my own money and buy whatever I so desired.

So I graduated and after the ‘5 minutes’ excitement, I joined the pool of unemployed graduates. Naturally, I wanted a job and I fantasized and worked to get one. During this time, my elder brother’s comment, about how good I had it as a student when I was still in school was beginning to ring as truth to me. I began to really appreciate my past student life – all I had to do was study, someone took care of all the expenses and I had no headache.

I’m working, and I better appreciate ‘those days’ now. I have my own money like I always wanted to but I understand now that it’s just not that simple. My own money is not entirely my own- forget the bills, just family and friend obligations are just the beginning.  I wish I could turn back time. I wouldn’t want so much to grow up. I would be patient with the pace, play hard and quite frankly simply enjoy the moments.

It’s a wonder I thought growing up was all I wanted when I was a child and now I just want to be a baby again. They sure had us fooled.

what have you always wanted but realised you didn’t really want after you had gotten it?

Home

Two years away from home and an opportunity to visit presented itself. You can imagine my excitement and bliss when I snatched it. Two years ago, I believed Ghana was a BIG place, geographical area notwithstanding. I didn’t require much to be content- home, school, church, friends, good music and books. I’m still not very different in that area but I have grown out of the thought that the world revolved around “my world”. In my travel, I have met new people from various places and I have realised just how small – a tiny part of a corner – Ghana is compared to the entire world.

There is an entire world waiting to be discovered and explored: there are so many new people to meet; many more lives to touch; new cultures to marvel at; many more weird and bizarre stuff to excite myself with and above all, tons of things to learn and experience.

Consequently, I decided to remove all the barriers and unnecessary constrictions that limited me to my little corner. This requires me to wake up each morning with a ready thought to choose to be open minded and apply myself to see and know as much as the day has to offer. Trust me, it’s pretty exciting and a lot more engaging than it sounds and I throw myself into it.

Coming home, now, that tramps all the above. Funny thing is, I knew I would not see things the same way I used to before I left. I was aware of how impatient I may get with the little inconveniences – Pricey yet slower internet connection, light outages and other utility and transportation problems- I was bound to face. These however didn’t lessen the joy that swept through me as the airplane slowly descended unto the runway. I was singing with a really silly smile on my face and I didn’t care what anybody on the plane was thinking. I was Home!

Home is always home. Home is the safest, warmest place in the world; with an atmosphere of love so tangible it can be touched. This is the one place with so many people who have the full arsenal to totally mess with you. A few days here and I know my family will find a way to get under my skin and have me explode, nevertheless its home- where family is. I know no matter how far I travel, how much I learn and how many new territories I discover, my greatest joy will be at home – not the physical place – where family is.

Personally, i think some of the joy of travel is in coming back home. What do you think?

 

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T 11

Eight (8) months ago I was led into T11, a class, by a course administrator to study Turkish at Gazi TÖMER. It was a class of strange faces to me then; different people with different dispositions and the only common denominator was the fact that we  were all there to learn Turkish. The class had started a week prior to my arrival and two kind fellows, whom I will get to know better later as Isabel and Marwan, tried to explain a few things to me. A few minutes later, another new student walked in and I was glad to have company in my confusion. He looked as confused as i was when the teacher walked in and started teaching what was basic grammar. Due to my inability to comprehend anything the teachers were teaching I was left with the option of writing and that I did to the best of my capability.

It was during one of the breaks that I officially met Rama. She spooked me alright – asking me what I knew about the Turkish language. “Nothing” my obvious answer. “Not even the counts or alphabets” she pressed. A quick shake of my head answered her latter question. Then she gave me the ‘sorry pal” look. By that time, I was not very acquainted with her to know to ignore it. As if I didn’t know already, I gathered yet again that this wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. In the first few days I simply showed up at school, returned to my dorm feeling cold and with a headache, ate, did my homework (if there was any), took a hot shower and lights out for me. I was trying in vain to find the logic in this new language. For years now, that was my method of learning- find the principles, master them, apply them. It took me a while to figure out why my method was not going to work this time.

A new class opened two weeks later and Rama was the first to tell me and encourage me to move there. It took me just about that much time to decide against it.

It is worth mentioning that I had very good teachers but I knew I had met the one the first day Şhaida Hoca, my speaking teacher, walked into the class. She was the best teacher ever for me then- a mixture of fun and learning – and oww how I needed fun during that time. It didn’t become a bed of roses after that. I still struggled, even probably much more in her class where I was required to speak.

I don’t know for sure but I don’t think it was very easy for anyone.  I knew of my tears because I was the one crying them and often too. Not able to understand anything in a class was very new to me. A feeling I could and still will never get used to. I remember walking up to my comprehension teacher once after class and telling her I didn’t understand anything she said in class, ever.

During all this time, I had forgotten all the excitement I had exprerienced traveling abroad, learning new things and even the miracle that brought me here.

Weeks passed, the seasons changed, exams after exams the class got smaller and smaller (for different reasons) and a bit more intimate each time.

Now eight months later after passing  four promotional exams and the final exams (thank God for answered prayer) we all sat around a table with smiling faces eating ice cream with Şhaida Hoca and reminiscing .

Now I look at faces of friends, not strangers, still different people from myself – with different perspectives on life – and I am happy.

I know I will miss every one of them. Hazret’s long speeches in Konuşma class, Isabel’s exasperated look in Yazma, Rama’s unending questions in Anlama and Dil Bilgisi class, Enes’ hand in his hair any time he was writing or thinking, Mohammed’s random questions, Sohiab’s brief showdown in Yazma class and his unshakable defense of the doctor profession, Khaled’s decisive head shake when asked a question in the Yazma class, Rana’s quiet prescence, and Aye Lwin…. well, Aye Lwins  wins the smart boy.

A bitter sweet end for a group of friends who otherwise will never have met. Eight months of torture, trials and test and we came out as the Triumphant 11.

 To my TÖMER  classmates *Arkadaşlarım sizi çok özledim. Yaptığınız her şeyde size en iyisini diliyorum.*

 

 

HOŞGELDİNİZ

Höşgeldiniz! It was the first word I saw when I walked into TÖMER (a Turkish language school), a night after I arrived in Turkey. Naturally, I wondered how such a ridiculous string of letters and characters would sound like.

You must understand me, I have practically used English my whole life, a little bit of French and of course, a number of local languages in Ghana. I know about the other languages in the world but, this,… The “word” must have something to do with welcome. That much I gathered because right underneath the strange string of letters was the word WELCOME.

So i walked right ahead, İ was going to register to learn Turkish, and I hoped I will be “welcome”.

My first experiences in the country were not too pleasant or easy. First of all, I had a hard time finding my way to a pay phone. I found it strange that nobody I came across, apart from the gentleman at the foreign exchange stand spoke English in an “international” airport. I had read that the predominant language within the country was Turkish but considering Portugal, a Portuguese speaking nation that has a sizeable number of natives also speaking English, a global language, I kind of expected a similar situation here. Alas, here I stood lost with no means of communication. Eventually, I found my way out of the airport.

After some other events I have safely locked away in the “never-visit-again-cabinets’ of my life, I arrived at my dorm and I met Asia, and oh, how she made me feel welcome. Someone at last who would speak gibberish as well as English. She would later be a real friend to me (another story for another day).

Fast forward eight months and I have finally finished my course. İ walked past the same sign, even though I’m nowhere near perfect in the language and I have bouts of doubts and uncertainty about what word or expression means what sometimes, I don’t think its so strange anymore. In fact, I wonder – How cool is it that a whole sentence is said in one word? Höşgeldiniz – You are welcome.

Embrace whatever new experiences you are facing and find the good in it. I bet you will find many ‘cool’ stuff to add to your reservoir of experiences.

 

The mind is a phenomenal tool designed to do marvellous things only if we train it.

……………………………………………………………………

what are some of your experiences in new places?

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Royalties

The entire congregation was under anointing when she lifted up the chorus, the whole place was on fire, angels paid attention, people were healed, God was good yet again. Straight out of church she smartly walked past with a bust a bit too low, a skirt a bit too tight and short. He turned to catch a second glimpse. What he would give just for a few minutes with that sexy one.

It’s not my fault he can’t keep himself together; God has made us free people; all things are lawful and frankly God looks into the heart not on the outside.’’

So conveniently forgetting that out of the abundance of the heart she speaks, acts and even chooses her clothes; ignoring that ‘he who looks upon a woman and lusts after her has already committed adultery with her’ – forgetting adultery takes two.

Don’t get excited!

Praise the Lord brother. What happened to your belt? When did your waist drop to your hip? Why are your hands doing the job of our belt? Why am I looking at your underwear? Aren’t those pants a bit too tight and rugged. No combs at home either?

Hmmm!

What ever happened to this chosen generation of royal priesthood? What happened to this holy nation. Where are the kings and the queens, the princes and princesses? How are the royalties choosing their lot with the celebrities when ever so clearly, they belong in the throne?

When did Hollywood, Nollywood, Ghallywood or whatever wood become the standard for an elect and peculiar people. What happened to being the light of the world, the salt of the earth, a good example of a believer, the beauty of holiness and most of all to being like Christ.

Let the young men and women consider and reflect on these things, on how priceless they are. And let the eyes of our understanding be opened to the glory of who we are in Christ. Let the labels and tags and the craze of this fashion world not define us. After all, we are from a kingdom much more higher.

Let the kings and queens go back and sit on their thrones dressed majestically. That our son may be as plants grown up in their youth and daughters as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.

Spoken word poem by: Sarah

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