“To every action there is an opposite reaction”. I’ve heard this mantra of my mum more times than I’ve heard my name: When I started school; Internship; work and of course, there was absolutely no way I could miss it 15 years ago, when I stood excited and all starry eyed at my wedding reception. I nonchalantly dismissed it then and regretfully wish I hadn’t now. If only I could turn back the hands of time, I would have treated it as a priced possession.
I met Marvin at the mall, at least that’s the first time I met him. Apparently we both attended the same secondary school and he remembered me from then. Our relationship grew in record time. I realised over time that he was all I needed in a man– God fearing, handsome, humorous, level headed, helpful, blah blah blah… We could talk hours unending without running out of things to say and even sit in complete silence with no feeling of awkwardness.
His marriage proposal 2 years later was a no-brainer. Our marriage was all the sweet stuff I envisioned until the devastating transformation. Before his metamorphosis, Marvin had been super understanding, calm, accommodating, etc etc and I found myself wondering, where it all went….. We had been blessed with a son, Gideon, smart, handsome like his dad and intelligent as me. At 12, Gideon was perfect.
Marvin on the other hand had become difficult to live with. He always found fault with what I was or was not doing. Wasn’t I allowed to be tired? Wasn’t I allowed to catch a break? Today, it’s because I didn’t make fellowship meetings; Yesterday, it was because I didn’t make time for Gideon or him, and sometimes over trivial things like replacing finished soap, folding clothes, pressing toothpaste from the middle instead of the bottom, sweeping a clean room and a legion of others…
Thing is, I had just gotten promoted. Attached to the lump sum that came with my promotion was a heavy workload which left me cream-cracked by the end of the day. I tried to fix dinner and talk to Gid as many evenings as I could. However any attempt to hold a conversation or spend some time with Marv was met with constant berating and inconsideration.
Today is different. We stood at the same spot. In the same room, heavily dense with an aura completely foreign to us- silence. We were both engrossed in thoughts of our own as we got ready to leave for the hospital.
Two weeks ago, Gideon attempted suicide.
We had spoken to Giddy: He was tired of hearing us quarrel; He didn’t fit in at school; God wasn’t listening to him; He didn’t want to be an additional load on us.
I spent my 14-day leave in retrospection, I had been irresponsible and negligent in my duties as a wife as well as a mother; arrogantly blinded by my selfish desire to be the sole receipient of consideration and understanding that I failed to see retribution coming pede claudo. I had fallen out of touch with God and my family and it was time to rebuild my empire. A step at a Time……
Well, I thought I would remind us a little about the consequences of our actions and inactions. Everything has a price, word or action, and as naturally as we drop items we find too expensive while shopping so we ought to do with our actions and sometimes inactions. Some arguments are too pricey to pursue; some words too costly to utter; revenge, futile and barren…. Most of these “goods” carry regret on their tag + death, hurt, torment, etc as tax. Our life today determines our tomorrow.
There is a price to being successful, a price to fame, a price to a good home, a price to academic excellence, and most important of all a price to eternal life.
Sometimes all you need to do is: to “lose” to gain; to walk out that door; apologize for that mistake; smile; pray hard; study hard; take the blame for the sake of peace. It may not seem easy or pleasant then but its fruits thereof……..
Let’s live everyday counting the cost and bearing in mind, “There is a price tag to everything, including sin”.