HALL OF FAME

When the story is retold and the pages of the book of records is read; when the members in the hall of faith are being listed, and stars are being placed in the crowns, I want to be in the number. To go down in history as someone who did something extraordinary in my time – A changer.

As someone who dared to stand against the greatest waves of deception and confusion of identity in this time; As someone who chose to stand with the truth instead of being politically right.

To appear on the walls as someone who was willing to be unsung by this world but applauded by the heavens.

Dear God,

Help me have the right perspective; drive it down deep in my heart that “You are for me and You want the best for me”, may these words forever resound in my being under any condition. God, many a time, I’m scared into thinking your choice may not be what I desire in the specific moment of need. I know it sounds ubsurd and bizarre but the enemy had got me thinking on this line for a while, until I’m afraid to let go and let You.

But my confession is changing today, “I Choose to LET YOU”. So for the next time that old lying devil comes around, please etch on my spirit this revelation- that You are for me– so I can put him to flight.

I pray in Jesus name, Amen.

Dear God,

I just want to stop for a minute and say thank you. Thank you for today, my life and health; for the years that have come and gone; for the victories and all that has paved the way for me to be standing today. Thank you for the battles, they have made me stronger; and all the tears and joys of the years gone by.

Thank you for church, family and friends; people to share with and lean upon, to learn from, serve and be served. Thank you even for my enemies and all those whose schemes and evils You have, You will and You are turning for my good.

Thank you for the years ahead; for the incredible heights & depth that I will attain, and how sublime they will be. Thank you for the courage & strength to meet and rise above the challenges yet to come. Thank you that I will never be alone. Thank you ultimately for the glorious hope in Christ.

I appreciate that I can count on your extravagant mercy, grace and faithfulness for all times.

THANK YOU.

With love,

Sarah.

MOTHER

Special dedication to my mum

When I was but a clot of blood
I could feel her love like a flood
Bursting through the gates
Sealing off all the hates
With a determination strong as steel
My life she won’t let death steal.

When I was but a baby
I was taught by a lady
Confident and brave
Her love and all she gave
To nurture, mold and shape

When I was but a child
Weeping with tears so loud
She sat up to comfort and to smile
To help ease my steps to a mile
A swift rod to rebuke and chastise
A hug, a word of encouragement to appraise.
To keep me afoot the path to be heeded

When I was but a teen
She taught me the value of a team
She showed me my greatest ally
Not to find in an alley
But down on my knees in prayer
Where I can only reach higher

Now I am old…
and I pray, dear Lord.
Give her rest and fill her cup
Strengthen her and hold her up
Above all dear Lord
Give me grace to be like You
Because then I will be like her
And so will my heir.



 

HE KNOWS

There are times when words are insufficient to describe the bolt of joy and peace that floods us. A time when there seems to be no patch of grey in the skies. Times of victory songs, promotions, unmerited favours, new life, weddings…

There are times when all we see is gloom, when all around our very souls have given way and we really can’t see any light ahead just yet- When a loved one has passed, when disease has gripped, some tragedy we don’t know the genesis of …

There are also times when defeat weighs on us like a load. When we have once again botched it.

During all these changing scenes of life, even, through the strings of supposedly random events, nothing in our lives is left to chance. Even chance meetings are pre-planned whether we believe it or not.  

How can we argue against this?

Remember we have a Father who has control over times and seasons; a father who says to the wind go, and it does, one whose voice is like the sound of many waters.  This father is the greatest terror to our deepest fears; the One who created this entire universe and didn’t leave it to chance but put gravity in place to hold all else. He is the father who takes care that the grass is clothed and knows when a sparrow falls from sky. Above all, he is a father who loves us enough to die for us.

Would he…, would such a father, leave any single moment of our lives to chance – ungoverned, without a plan, to fate and unattended to?

NO!

He knows exactly where we are at any given time with whoever. He knows, precisely what the matter is and why it is. He knows the how and the when. He knows our state, our deepest struggles and greatest fears. He knows our disappointments, our pain and our joy, he knows our weaknesses and strengths, our greatest victories and our failures across our entire life span. He knows our past, our future and most definitely our present. And He’s made provision for every nitty gritty, mini micro second of our lives.

Let’s remind ourselves, out loud, if need be

“HE IS FOR ME, WITH ME AND IN ME. HE KNOWS ALL OF ME.”

LOVE V (RUBY)

“Oh snap out of it Joe!”, I burst out at my husband. I regretted it immediately and knew I would have to apologise but I had simply had enough. It has been eight months since Ruby, our daughter, informed us of her pregnancy. Her announcement came as a shock to both of us: we were hurt and disappointed, but Joe’s emotions had been changing anger gears progressively. He simply switched off: he walked around the house mopping with a stern face and giving monosyllabic answers at any attempt to start a conversation. I figured he would get over it soon. However, days turned into weeks, weeks into months and now Ruby is a few days away from her due date and he still has not had a decent conversation with either of us.

There had been times when I wondered whether he blamed me for Ruby’s condition or whether he was disappointed with me as much as he was with Ruby. I couldn’t help blaming myself at times: I stayed up at night thinking of how I had failed our daughter; I had done all I thought was humanly possible to raise her right. On hindsight, it seems that hadn’t been enough: I had failed somewhere, somehow – Maybe I hadn’t loved her enough; or disciplined her enough; or prayed hard enough; or taught her what she needed to survive in this world. Now there was nothing I could do about it, but pray [harder than before].

Looking at both of them broke my heart. Ruby stayed in her room and out of the way when Joe was around. And sometimes I caught a look of pain on Joe’s face when he thought I was not looking. I could remember not so far back, Ruby running around in the front yard and screaming with delight and running to meet her father when he came back from work. I remembered her laughter and giggles as Joe swung her up in the air and told her what a pretty young lady she was. Now, father and daughter were strangers to each other.

Ruby had been a much awaited child. The miracle and answer to our prayers. After ten years of childlessness: relatives had complained, criticised, insulted, and branded me a barren witch, done their worst and written us off. Ruby’s birth was the sun rising in a bleak horizon for us; a vindication that the Lord was never deaf to our cry. I agree we spoilt her a bit but we never withheld the rod when it was necessary. Joe enjoyed reading Bible stories to her at night and tried to always be home early so we could both tuck her in for the night. We never failed to let her know she was a miracle from God. We taught her to pray and told her how it was a trusted source of strength and peace. To the best of my knowledge we pointed her to God and showed her she always had a friend in us.

I remember when Joe read her the story of the birth of Jesus; she was so awed. Then when he read about his crucifixion; she had so many questions. She didn’t understand how a story of love as we had told her ended so tragically. So, I mentioned Grace to her and for the next two weeks we were queried on what exactly Grace was. Joe took time to really explain first, Love and second, Grace. As Ruby grew I noticed she had more questions about I Corinthians 13 and we were always happy to answer them. As she grew older, we had the talk about boys and choice of friends when we discussed the story of Diana into details. Perhaps that was the more reason why it was very crushing when she informed us of her pregnancy.
My little girl not only knew a lot about sex but had firsthand experience. It was so difficult to reconcile myself with and accept that thought.

I tried to get Joe to understand that Ruby may have probably beaten herself up so many times and now she needed our support more than ever but he would not listen. “It could have been worse; what if she had tried aborting and died in the process or even succeeded. She would have had an additional burden of murder on her conscience.”, I would often tell him. Home was where you went when you needed a safe habour and I thought we should really let her know she was there: Home. During the early months, she cried herself to sleep often and it affected her health and that of the baby’s. She cries less these days but I’m sure it will help tremendously if Joe started acting even a bit civil towards her. She has apologized to me many times than I can count. I encouraged her to meet with our pastor for counseling just in case she wanted to talk; but not to me and I see it has helped a great deal.

We started our bible discussions again, but Joe always “had to work” these days so he never made it. I kept wondering what happened to the lessons on love, forgiveness, responsibility etc that we taught Ruby. Were we showing her that love runs away when things were sour and that love wasn’t tolerant of mistakes. Or that some mistakes were too grievous to forgive; or plainly that we didn’t love her enough.

Love doesn’t run away; LOVE NEVER FAILS.

 
 
 
 
 

JESUS

JESUS


The message has never been clearer
Never been made plainer
It’s always been about Jesus

Every finger pointed to a better way
Everything else was a shadow
A stand-in and substitute

That which was spoken of is here
The better way, the better sacrifice,
The forever Priest, The only way

Behold! The refuge for the hopeless
Behold! The Haven for the restless
Behold! The escape for the condemned

The One it was,
and it is, and will always be about
Nobody but, JESUS!


LOVE IV

One cool evening, after our weekly rehearsal, my friend and I were lounging and waiting on others so we could all go home together. I subsequently decided to broach the topic of love: We went on a while, expressing our diverse viewpoints and learning from one another when lil sis, Ruby, walked in on us. Immediately she heard the topic of our discussion, she uttered the famous statement “love is not a feeling; it’s a decision”. To some extent, i believe this is true.

I’m not saying there are no gooey feelings sometimes attached to love, I’m saying it’s not all there is to it.  Ask anyone whose been married for a while, you don’t always feel gooey or mushy.
Love is a decision you have to make every day. Most especially in the times you are not feeling particularly gracious towards your mate or even yourself.
I heard this some years ago and I think it’s a decent saying worth repeating “it’s not the love that keeps the promise, it’s the promise that keeps the love.”

Slow down, don’t let your mind go into an overdrive, all I want to say with this is, if we are always waiting to feel something in order to label love, we may never have sufficient days of love. But if we remember the choice we had made, the oath we spoke to our spouse; then we make a continuous choice n selection to back the initial decision.
It’s like a process; love is not a one time for all time thing. It’s a continuous choice and decision. One saying “I choose you today”

AWAKENING ARMY

She rose from the couch fired up. That was it! She had had enough. Grabbing her evidence she matched right into the bedroom and headed straight to the closet to make her case. She had just read of how dry bones became a mighty army. Even graves could be turned into victory; so what was she waiting for? Besides, a precedent had already been established. She had seen it being done for Hannah, then Elizabeth. (So) that was her exhibit A and B- her 2 witnesses. Today she was here for herself and here for her child!

 

He had been nurtured on stories of an Almighty God. Stories he could recite in his sleep – of David and Goliath; of Gideon, the man of valour; of Abraham and the promise; of Moses and the Egyptian Pharaoh… But this was ‘real life’. He couldn’t seem to find a way through anything; everywhere seemed like a dead end; a vortex of defeat and depression he couldn’t seem to escape. It was one mistake/ trouble after the other. “Well, I guess this is real life” became his mantra. On a good day, it changed to “It Is Well” and that was it. Today an inexplicable moment of illumination came on the wings of these words – “IT IS FINISHED”. The Red sea is still being divided, the Jericho wall didn’t have enough strength to stand after the 7th day shout and procession. All the giants in Canaan and elsewhere did not have their defences with them – All they turned out to be, was a big old bluff. The victory cry has already gone out “IT IS FINISHED”. All that remained was the victory march!

 

An old woman flipping through her worn out bible stumbles upon the story of Abraham again. She must have read it a hundred times. This time however, she saw he was called at age 75. An age far advanced than hers, but that was his start. “Alright, here I am” she whispers in prayer “may have been a life that didn’t go the way I planned it to. Dreams that never materialized and got lost somewhere along life’s road. “Nonetheless, Here I am”, she said, “I’m as good now to start out as he was. ….so I’m coming.”

 

Two siblings sat down to chat. It’s hard to identify anywhere. Pressures from within and without mounting up. Important decisions like friends and frenemies, what style of fashion to adopt, what to become and how to be cool enough.                 

Come to find out there is a place where identity is already given and good works has been ordained for them. There they stay, with the prophecies that had already gone ahead of them. Strong youth, defeating every enemy.

 

Revelations and enlightenment given; A shaking; A trembling: Graves being opened;

An Army awakening….

 

LOVE III

She had been thinking of her brother, it was his birthday. How to do something special for him.
Just about sunrise, she walked past a window and noticed the view. She had always wanted to capture it, but alas, the window was just too small to get a good shot. The other option was to go up the rooftop. A million reasons & excuses about why she should do it another time trickled into her mind.
She quickly took care of matters, dressed up in her coat to fight the chilly winds and climbed to the rooftop. She took a couple of good shot and stood a while to soak in the view.
Getting back, inspiration struck. A cool way to send a lovely message to her brother. She set out to edit the picture she would use. Anyone who knew her well enough would know that her editing pictures was BIG. Add to that, the fact that she was really sleepy. She hadn’t slept through the night and had to do so and be awake in a few hours to start the day.
Yet still she took the time to edit the photo and post the message so her brother could see it early enough, hopefully as the 1st thing he notices when he picks up his phone on his day.

Thinking through this write up, I remember a friend relating how she felt loved when her dad sold his cherished ride for money she badly needed for medication at one time. To her, anything short of sacrifice was blah blah blah, not love.
Like another friend puts it ‘if they say they love you and won’t go out of their way to do anything for you, then they really don’t love you.”
Think of the mother who would offer the last morsel of bread to her children whiles she goes hungry and tell me you don’t think that is love. Who says this is only limited to the mum-child relationship.
Love makes us able to trade out things of value to ensure the safety and happiness of the other.  I’m not talking about only grand gestures here. The little ‘trades’ like; staying up just to say hello to someone on the other side of the world, patiently listening when you would really rather be doing something else…  all count.

NB! Now don’t go sacrificing your integrity; that is not love anyway.

Love is sacrificial.